Series: LoveUP
Sermon: Matching Up
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:16 & 18
ICE BREAKER: What is the worst date you have ever been on?
REVIEW:
This week we talked about the Drama of Dating in today's world and asked, "what is the purpose of dating?" We continue to see culture moving back to the ancient framework for sex and relationships:
SELFISH
CONVENIENT
PURPOSELESS
What difficulties do you see in today's dating culture?
What affect is that having on you or your single friends/family?
Hook-Up culture is in full swing. Many singles are not looking for marriage, they are just wanting to "have fun" and "keep their options open." This sexual ethic has made it's way into dating relationships as well.
The dating scene is internally conflicted. On one hand they want to remain free and have fun, but on the other hand everyone wants to be loved and secure. What you end up with is a mix of the two! Studies show that most often the 3rd date ends in sex. This creates a REAL issue.
Here’s the danger:
YOU ARE SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE
WITH FAR MORE PEOPLE
THAN YOU ARE RELATIONALLY COMPATIBLE
Relational compatibility can be hard to find! You have to really get to know someone before you can assess whether you want to commit to them for the rest of your life! However, once you engage in a sexual relationship, it severely limits your ability to objectively determine if that person is a good fit for you!
Eventually, there will be an issue in your relationship that jumping in bed together simply can't fix! At that point, most couples have not developed the relational tools or equity with each other to know how to address it. Further, because they are sexually active, they are more likely to stay in a relationship that is no longer healthy for them. Often, they will get married to try and FIX THINGS. If that doesn't work - they try to get pregnant.
Scripture shows us that how we date TODAY will affect our marriage SOMEDAY. We live in a culture that sells us a lie - making us believe that our sexual and relational decisions in the moment won't have long lasting effects into our future.
APPLY:
Study after study has found that the BEST SEX happens in committed marriages. What so many see as a "Ball and Chain" or getting "Trapped in marriage" is actually the path to the fulfillment that they seek.
Not only that, but the fewer sexual partners you have prior to marriage increases your happiness in marriage, the longevity of your marriage, and the odds that both partners remain faithful throughout the marriage.
In this week's sermon, we suggested it is time to take a break! To step back from dating and trying to find "THE RIGHT PERSON" and instead focus on BECOMING the right person!
IF YOU ARE SINGLE - HERE IS THIS WEEK'S APPLICATION:
Get honest with yourself about whether it is time to take a break from dating so you can allow God to refresh you, rewire you, and renew your vision of what you want out of dating.
Here is a GREAT way to decide on some new standards for your dating life:
1. Honestly think how you want your future spouse to be dating and acting sexually. That should be the minimum standard for yourself.
2. Honestly think what behaviors NOW you would be tempted to hide LATER and get the help you need to stop them.
IF YOU ARE MARRIED - HERE IS THIS WEEK'S APPLICATION:
Get honest with yourself, AND YOUR SPOUSE, about the mistakes you made in your dating life. Face those issues and what they may have caused in your marriage today. Remember - how you dated then most likely still has affects today!
Last, order Andy Stanley's book, "The New Rules For Love, Sex, and Dating."
PRAY:
Ask God to show you the areas where you have not been dating with Purpose. Commit to taking the break you need and to allowing Jesus and his sexual and relational ethic to be the framework for your life.
