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RAP SHEET 7/24/22

Series: LoveUP

Sermon: Shacking Up

Scripture: Matthew 19:4-6 / Hebrews 13:4 / Ephesians 5:24-25

ICE BREAKER: Would you rather give up dinner for a month or deserts for a year?


This week, we continued our LoveUP series by talking about cohabitation in a message called, "Shacking Up."

On the issue of living together before marriage, scripture and culture are pushing opposite narratives. Scripture clearly sees joint residency as sacred for marriage and cohabitation as an impediment to the flourishing of the couple. Culture says cohabitation is how you ensure you marry the right person and have the best marriage possible. Both sides cannot be correct, so which one is accurate?

We looked at 3 MYTHS that are actively pushed about Cohabitation:

#1 "This is preparing us for marriage"

#2 "Living together just makes sense"

#3 "Living together is a selfless act."

By digging deeper into each myth, we found they were based on a framework that is Selfish, Convenient, and Purposeless - the same Pre-Jesus framework we have looked at all series.

Living Together makes it way TOO EASY to break up compared to marriage. It give the illusion of commitment without the Covenant to protect the relationship. It allows couples to drag out dating and/or engagement and takes away any motivation to go through with the marriage. At the same time, cohabiting also makes it way TOO HARD to break up compared to dating. Once you intertwine you schedules, finances, purchases, credit scores, etc. - it becomes REALLY difficult to separate!

Study after study shows that the majority of people living together never get married, they are more anxious and depressed, less secure in their life and relationship, more likely to experience an unplanned pregnancy, and more likely to suffer abuse. Compared to married couples, cohabitation sees lower household income, less sexual satisfaction, and a dramatic increase in divorce rates if the relationship does go through with marriage.

These statistics once again argue in favor of what Scripture taught thousands of years ago - that, "Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4a)


For those who are single and dating:

Does this change the way you think about your path toward marriage?

For those who are currently Cohabiting:

How were you challenged by this message? What did you agree with? What did you question?

At the end of the message, you were STRONGLY encouraged to consider making a plan to either - Separate for Success OR Prepare for Marriage. In order to help you assess which is the best option, we are doing a LoveUP marriage workshop. You can Register HERE (

For those who are married:

Next week we will talk specifically about marriage. For now what are some ways you can support/be beneficial to those you know who are single/dating/cohabiting?


We ended this week's message with a call to "Holiness." To be Holy means to be set apart, different, and unique from the framing of this world. Ask God to help make you and your relationships HOLY. Seek Jesus with your life and follow Him into the life you are called to live!


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