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RAP SHEET 7/31/22

Series: LoveUP

Sermon: Settling UP

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13 / Genesis 1&2

Ice Breaker: Would you rather have a massive wedding with hundreds of friends and family or an intimate wedding with just a dozen or so of your closest relationships?


In week 4 of our LoveUP series, we talked about the Meaning of Marriage. The numbers don't lie - marriage is hard! Over 50% of marriages end in divorce and the likelihood of that outcome increases greatly when you haven't prepared well for that marriage.

All series long, we have seen that how you behave prior to marriage will affect the quality and longevity of your marital relationship. This week we went one layer deeper and found that your BELIEFS about marriage can be just as harmful as your BEHAVIORS before Marriage.

As a culture, WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE. Our ideas about matrimony are more shaped by Disney Channel than real life experience. We want someone to partner with us socially, to fulfill us sexually, to stabilize us emotionally... In the culture's framework for marriage the main goal is your own personal satisfaction and fulfillment. We think marriage is about "ME" way more than about "WE."

What has been your primary goal for your current/future marriage?

Would you confidently say you know what God's intention for marriage is?

The world's way of thinking about marriage is simply not working. Scripture calls us to a much higher, more mature view of matrimony. In 1 Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul wrote in detail about what it means to truly Love.

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant,

5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.

7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends…

This is a super famous passage. However, we don't read on to verse 11 where it says:

11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.

Paul is warning that if we have a Childish Belief we will not be able to demonstrate Mature Behaviors. The Pre-Jesus framework for Marriage is SELFISH, CONVENIENT, and PURPOSELESS. In other words, it's childish!

To understand the meaning of marriage, we went back to God's original design. We found that in His perfect creation there was ONE THING that was still not good:

Genesis 2

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

Humans were created for companionship. God made Adam a wife and called her a "Helpmate." In the Hebrew this was EZER KENEGDO and means a HELPFUL ADVERSARY!

This is the picture of a healthy marriage. Not someone who is there to affirm you just exactly as you are like the culture desire; rather, someone to help shape you and mold you into the person God created you to be! A spouse is someone who brings both grace AND TRUTH into the relationship.






Jesus HAS to sit at the center of marriage. Marriage is TOUGH! There will be conflict and suffering - but not so you can get your way. Instead, marriage is a fight for each of you to get closer and closer to Jesus! Marriage is a unique opportunity to be in a lifelong relationship where together you can be more than you ever could be apart.


For those who are single and/or dating:

How does this change your perspective on marriage and what actual difference will that make today?

For those who are currently Married:

How were you challenged by this message? What did you agree with? What did you question?

At the end of the message, you were STRONGLY encouraged to attend the LoveUP marriage workshop on August 20th!

You can Register HERE (


Spend some time praying for the Holy Spirit to show you the true meaning of marriage. For those who are married - ask God to show you glimpses of who He created your spouse to be. Commit to finding ways to make the marriage about "WE" and not just about "ME."


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